Washington Is The Best State: Road Trip Diaries -- Part Three

July 14, 2015
Day 12
Hours on the Road: 5
States Traversed: Washington

We explored a fort. And it was amazing.
We drove to Whidbey Island, which included a ferry ride, and then spent the day running all over an abandoned WWI fort. There was super intense hide and seek, role playing Star Wars, exploration of pitch-black corridors, and climbing on rooftops.
It was wonderful.
Eventually we wanted to go to the beach, so we went behind the fort and ta-da! ocean.
The water was freezing, again. Sigh.
But there was loads and loads of driftwood, so instead of swimming/wading, we built our own fort. Someone had started it, we just cleared it out and expanded. A lot. We gave it at least twice the area, and probably added a foot of height.
It was so legit, and I am very proud of that fort.
This day was probably the best day of the entire summer.
Like, running around, climbing over driftwood, exploring, just being a kid... My soul needed it. Wow it was good. Wind and salt and pebbles in your shoes and echoes in ghostly corridors and scrapes on your knees... That is so good for you.

July 15, 2015
Day 13
Hours on the Road: 3, I think?
States Traversed: Washington

Into Seattle!
We hit up Pike's Place today. You know, where the original Starbucks was (which we didn't go to, because there was a stupidly long line and a local coffee shop like, right around the corner).
There were so. many. people.
Here's the thing, I liked Pike's Place Market, quite a lot, but I think I would have liked it better without the five younger children. I adore my younger siblings and cousins, but a very crowded outdoor market in the summer is not the best place for them.
That being said, it's a wonderful, thrilling place. Art and flowers and coffee and bakeries and people and food and bookstores and fish and more flowers and wow it is cool.
I would looove to go back and spend loads of money on those flowers. They were so pretty. And there was a whole store full of maps!! It was amazing!! Maps everywhere!! Vintage maps, new maps, maps of cities and countries and oceans and everything and I loved it. I could have bought so much there.
It's probably good I had no money, because between the map store and the bookstore and the flowers, I would be broke.
But yeah, I would love to just sit in one of those coffee shops and people watch for hours. There were street musicians (the ones in San Francisco were better, just saying) and some of the most hipster people I have ever seen, and girls in loooots of One Direction garb, and tourists from loads of countries and cute boys and so many people with stories and lives and thoughts and to-do lists. It was crazy and overwhelming and beautiful.
I love Washington state. I love Seattle, I love outside of Seattle. The trees and coffee shops and fresh fruit and the beach (even though it's freezing), the places to explore, the vibes of Washington in general, my cousins... I don't even know, I just love this state a lot. It's wonderful and interesting and beautiful and exciting and I love it.

July 16, 2015
Day 14
Hours on the Road: Yeah, I have literally no clue.
States Traversed: Washington, Idaho

Um. I read fanfiction. All day.
I have no shame. :) Also, Idaho has Cheesecake Factory and suuuper cool hotels. Ours had like, a loft and it was awesome. I would love an apartment that looked just like that hotel room.
That and driving was all that happened. :/

July 17, 2015
Day 15
Hours on the Road: A lot, I presume
States Traversed: Idaho, Utah

Idaho has a Barnes and Noble. That's really all I remember about this day.
I bought Go Set A Watchman. And cried. I'm still not 100% sure about how I felt about that book. I liked it, but I also... I don't know. It didn't connect to To Kill a Mockingbird quite as much as I wanted it to, but I think that's okay? Because the whole process (from what I've heard) of publishing this book was complicated and it wasn't supposed to be published and... I don't know. I still love Scout/Jean Louise and think she's one of the best fictional characters ever. I'm reallyyyyyyyy bitter that Jem wasn't in the book. Same with Dill. And Atticus... Yeah, there was some very personal betrayal there. But I adored reading about Jean Louise dealing with everything and growing up. Even though it didn't go the way I wanted it to, I really loved the part when she stands up to Atticus and becomes her own person, I suppose. There was something super sad and super powerful about it.
So, yeah. It was really interesting, and I think I liked it overall.
I believe this was the day we stopped in Salt Lake City.
And it was probably the sketchiest city I've ever been in. Maybe it was just the evening and next morning that we were there, but there was something distinctly... off about it. Some strange, creepy vibe that had me on edge the whole time.
However, there was a real good pizza and gelato place there. So it wasn't awful. Just weird and creepy.
So if you've had a great experience in Salt Lake City, let me know. Because my gut was saying "Something isn't right, get out," especially the next morning. Was that just me? Is there something universally uncomfortable about Salt Lake City? I have no idea.

July 18, 2015
Day 16
Hours on the Road: All day. Aaaaall day.
States Traversed: Utah, Colorado, Kansas

Um, I read more of Go Set a Watchman. And cried. And ate leftover pizza. And slept. And was really excited to get out of that car. And tweeted about Go Set a Watchman. That's really about it. It was a lot of driving and lounging and everyone being ready to be home.

Coming home after a trip is bittersweet. It's sad because it's an adventure ending, but the comfort of driving under stars you know and streets you have memorized is so beautiful. Even though I am someone who loves traveling and honestly wants to leave for college and spend years of my life in different places and cities and countries, I think Wichita will always be home. I have so much history and love invested in this city. In late nights and sunrises and adventures and doughnut shops and theatres and soccer games and churches and Wal-Marts. In my Grandma's backyard, in the house where Kensi and Mac were born, in Trinity and CYT and the library. That moment when we get to the tollbooth right before Kellogg, when we exit off 35... every time we come home, that moment makes me feel safe and peaceful and at home, in a way that no where else can emulate. And I love that.

My Heart Is Breaking

Oh God.

Terrible, horrible things have happened today.

Paris. Lebanon. Baghdad.

I'm currently sitting in a hotel closet in order to not wake up Holly and Kensi and I'm just crying and typing.

And praying.

Assuming my math is right and the news is correct -- and I pray that this number is too high -- two hundred and fifteen people were murdered tonight, between Paris, Lebanon, and Baghdad.

Two hundred and fifteen.

I'm not naive. Well, okay, maybe a little. I am, however, an optimist of the highest degree.

But this? This is... Horrific. Appalling. Sickening, disgusting, tragic.

I'm full of all this rage and fear and grief and.... And I don't know what to do.

Why must it be like this? Why can't people be nice and love each other and realize how beautiful other people can be?

This breaks my optimistic heart. This makes me question hope and sunshine and the fact that people can be good and kind and loving and heroic. This is ugly and shitty and dark and it makes me so, so, sad and helpless and furious and guilty about things like sitting in a closet doing nothing when people have just lost friends and family members and lovers and...

Sometimes this world absolutely sucks.

And I hate that.

I'm just praying that good will come out of this, I guess. That the people in Paris and Lebanon and Baghdad will find love and comfort and help and support. I pray that somehow the death count is far higher than it should be. I pray that no one is left to deal with this alone.

I pray that someone will remember to turn on a light.

Because it has been a very, very dark day.

Cookie Dough (A Summary of Senior Year So Far)

Hello.

Hi.

Yeah, um.

What do people talk about?

How do I have like six or seven social media platforms, at least three of which I spend hours on everyday, and yet I really don't have much to say?

That's sickening.

Ugh.

So, life these days.

College applications. Panicking about college auditions. Listening to Adele's "Hello" and Troye Sivan's Wild pretty much constantly. Wishing I was in a musical. Waiting for Lil to come (she'll be here in TWO DAYS!). Being waaay behind of where I should be on NaNoWriMo. Still being sad about James and Lily Potter's death (it's been what, thirty-four years? Is my math right?). Struggling to write music. Working at the library and checking out more books than I can read.

The usual, really.

Life is so weird lately. It's going so fast and yet so very slow. I feel like I'm in an awkward in-between place, where most of my time is spent planning and getting ready for things to come. Which I'm not good at, nor do I like. There are days when I get all panicky and scared and want to cry about college and paying for college and college auditions and everything. But there are also days when I don't even care. I'll go wherever and be fine with it and pay for it somehow. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

These viewpoints are a little at odds with each other.

I'm fine. I'll be fine. I get through the panicky days with cookie dough and fanfiction. I get through the "I'll deal with it later" days with Spotify and NaNoWriMo-ing and more cookie dough.

There's been an unhealthy amount of cookie dough this year.

Things are coming together, though. I have a top three list of colleges. I still don't know what I'm majoring in (go figure), but I'm pretty sure I'm going to minor in music. Even though it is so hard some days, I love it so very much. I know I want to write and travel and love God and love people and point them back to Him however I can. I want to go and learn and experience new things.

So really, my life plans haven't changed much. I think that's good. However vague they may still be, I think they're starting to take shape. Still not sure what that shape is, but hey, that's half the fun (and half the stress, but whatever).

Anywho. I thought I'd give you a few updates before I go write 2,000+ words before going to bed.

Please insert a slightly terrified smile here.

Later, skaters. Have a beautiful day/evening full of cookie dough and Adele. ;)

Book Recommendations: "Real World"

"Real World" 
(Or, I review almost every John Green book in one big post)

The Fault in Our Stars

by John Green

Read it. John Green has become quite adept at writing realistic, yet original teenage characters. Gus, Hazel, and Isaac are some of the best examples of this. The book is a bit on the cheesy side if you step back and think about it, but it's high school romance. That's okay. Besides being a really good rom-nov, it's also really deep. It explores sickness and death and hope and love in a way that you don't often see in fiction. It stirs your soul and gives you a new viewpoint on people whose stories are not often told this way. It feels very real, very honest.

Eleanor and Park*

by Rainbow Rowell

Set in the 80s, Eleanor and Park is a beautiful story about love and secrets and comic books and mix tapes. It's such a... pretty book. Which is weird, because it's actually quite dark. Eleanor and Park are both very different characters that what you would normally read about. Park is quiet and shy and small and elegant and Asian. Eleanor is big and obvious and new and fat and ginger. There's also hardly any dialogue in the book, which is really hard to pull off. A lot of it happens in their heads. It's very poetically written. This book is kinda hit and miss with people, some -- like me -- love it, and others (like Holly) don't. But it's a very unique and lovely romance, so if that strikes your fancy, read it.

Fangirl

by Rainbow Rowell

Fangirl is verrry different from Eleanor and Park. Cath is off to college, and literally everything in her life is changing. She is a super nerdy, socially awkward fanfiction writer who is terrified of change and being on her own. Her twin sister, Wren, is ready to grow up, to be her own person, much to Cath's terror. I love how Rowell explores growing up and loving a story and basically says "Hey, it's okay to be a nerd. It's cool to be a fangirl. And it's definitely okay to let go of some things." I really connected to this book and highly recommend it to anyone who would rather read Destiel fanfiction,or rewatch A Very Potter Musical or cry over "The Angels Take Manhattan" than deal with the real world. Oh, and Rainbow Rowell just recently published a book about Simon Snow, who Cath writes fanfic about in Fangirl. So that's super exciting. 

We Were Liars

by E. Lockhart

This book is amazing. I really don't know how much to tell you, because it's a book you just have to read. Basically, think "perfect," upper-class family with secrets and issues galore. This book is... shocking, and heart breaking, and so elegantly written. It's a bit of a ghost story, a bit of a mystery, a bit of an exposé. I realize this is the most vague description of a book ever, but I really, really think you just need to read it. 

It's Kind of a Funny Story

by Ned Vizzini

Craig Gilner has worked hard for what he wants since forever. But now it's all too much. After enrolling in the school of his dreams, Craig gets overwhelmed and becomes very anxious and depressed. He gets suicidal and ends up in mental hospital. The book is partially based of Vizzini's experience in a psychiatric hospital. It's a different view on depression, and mental illness in general. I, being slightly obsessed with psychology, really liked this book. It feels far more accurate than most books about depression/suicide. Craig has issues, but he never blames it on people, he doesn't play the victim. Which is refreshing to read. 

Looking For Alaska*

by John Green

The first book John Green published, this book is so good and so frustrating. John Green doesn't wrap everything up and explain it nicely, the way you'd like a book to. No, he writes it like it's life: Sometimes you don't understand why. This book has some of the most amazing quotes and really showcases John Green's talent as a wordsmith. There's so many wonderful things about this book; the antics everyone gets into, the mix of humor and tragedy, the suspense, the mystery, the characterization of Alaska and her contradictory-ness, the 10th Anniversary cover (I'm in love with this cover), the quirks of all the characters. 

Paper Towns

by John Green

Yeah, okay, I really like John Green's writing. Paper Towns might be favorite of his books. For those of you unfamiliar with the books, Paper Towns is about a boy named Quentin. Q has a plan for his life. He wants the stereotypical American dream. He'll graduate, go to a good college, get a good job, have a family and house with a white picket fence. One night, Margo Roth Spiegelman -- his adventurous, slightly crazy, super attractive neighbor -- brings him along for a madcap night of revenge. Q has the best night of his life and is sure that afterwards the two will be best friends (at the very least). But the next day, Margo is gone. Q and his friends search for Margo, eventually going on a cross-country road trip, looking for a girl who doesn't want to be found and a town that doesn't exist. This book explores life and personhood -- both our own and everyone else's.

This Star Won't Go Out

by Esther Earl

The story of Esther Earl, a girl who died of cancer at sixteen years old. She inspired John Green to write the Fault in Our Stars, but her tale rarely gets the attention it deserves. This book will very much make you rethink how you live your life and give you a new perspective on things you used to take for granted (like breathing). It's such a wake-up call, I guess. I made it to page seven before crying, so there's that. Reading about Esther's life and then death will probably make you mad. It made me furious. I will give you a word of advice: Use that emotion and do something constructive with it. I don't care what, but I think a huge reason we need to read about Esther and others like her is to try to change things and make them better.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower*

by Stephen Chbosky

Gritty, dark, and intriguing, this book is a very honest look at high school life from the perspective of a wallflower. The main character, Charlie, is the quiet, chill type that everyone likes and accepts because he will never judge. Two seniors, Sam and Patrick, take him under their wing and show him all sorts of things. One of my friends said this book was the epitome of teenage angst, with every single thing that teens deal with in it -- sex, drugs, homosexuality, abuse... You name it, it's probably in Perks. I do really like the book, though. There's something... Relatable about it. I would recommend it. Plus it has a really good mixtape mentioned that you can find on Spotify. 

Into the Wild

by Jon Krakauer

The non-fiction account of Chris McCandless, who trekked across the U.S. (and some of Mexico) for about two years before ending up in Alaska, where he died. I really admire Chris. He had guts, and there's no denying he was smart. He was an idealist of the highest order, and he lived what he believed. I get what drove him. It's a wonderful mystery. It wouldn't be nonfiction if everything was cleared up. I wanted to hitchhike across America after I read it. Krakauer does an amazing job tying McCandless's story to similar stories from the past -- including his own. This is a really, really good book.

*Denotes mature content (i.e. language, sexual content)

P.S. There are links to the books on Amazon if you click the titles.