But... Summer has brought back that old restlessness. I'm listless, itching to go places and meet people and taste new foods and hear different languages and see new sights.
I'm ready to go.
It's made me think about college again.
I've pretty much always said that I wanted to get away for college, but this year my friends and my city felt so... home-y, I guess. I started thinking that maybe I'd just stay here. Go to WSU. Work at the library. Move in with Maddie.
Now I'm realizing why I don't want to do that.
My soul yearns for something... else.
I've been thinking a lot about Paper Towns by John Green and Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Two very, very different books, but they have similar themes. Both are about leaving in order to find... more.
For those of you unfamiliar with the books, Paper Towns is about a boy named Quentin. Q has a plan for his life. He wants the stereotypical American dream. He'll graduate, go to a good college, get a good job, have a family and house with a white picket fence. One night, Margo Roth Spiegelman -- his adventurous, slightly crazy, super attractive neighbor -- brings him along for a madcap night of revenge.
Q has the best night of his life and is sure that afterwards the two will be best friends (at the very least). But the next day, Margo is gone. Q and his friends search for Margo, eventually going on a cross-country road trip, looking for a girl who doesn't want to be found and a town that doesn't exist.
Into the Wild is the non-fiction account of Chris McCandless, who leaves everything in order to live on the road. He cuts off all communication with his family, ditches his car, burns his money, and vanishes. He ends up in an abandoned bus in Alaska, alone, and dies there. Krakauer explores the whys behind McCandless: why he didn't tell anyone, why he left, why he died. It's engrossing and fascinating, and, strangely, very relatable.
Now, my relationships are in pretty good shape, and I don't feel like I'm living a fake life. But leaving sounds so good some days. Just abandoning my responsibilities and my possessions and the expectations for me and the thousands of daily distractions. It's just... such an interesting thought. Just leaving. Erasing my existence.
I couldn't do it. Not now. Probably not ever
Maybe someday I'll go. Leave everything. Write a note to my parents, give them an address. Try not to let them worry. Not for very long. A month maybe.
For now, I am here. I will content myself with watching travel vlogs and pinning travel hacks and reading books about people who left. That's all I can do for now. The world calls, but I cannot answer yet.
For those of you unfamiliar with the books, Paper Towns is about a boy named Quentin. Q has a plan for his life. He wants the stereotypical American dream. He'll graduate, go to a good college, get a good job, have a family and house with a white picket fence. One night, Margo Roth Spiegelman -- his adventurous, slightly crazy, super attractive neighbor -- brings him along for a madcap night of revenge.
Q has the best night of his life and is sure that afterwards the two will be best friends (at the very least). But the next day, Margo is gone. Q and his friends search for Margo, eventually going on a cross-country road trip, looking for a girl who doesn't want to be found and a town that doesn't exist.
Into the Wild seems like a book that Margo Roth Spiegelman would read. I feel like she would be so inspired by McCandless, by his courage, his idealism, his sense of morality. McCandless always does what he thinks is right, no matter the risk to his well-being. He didn't ever consider death. He was a mover, a doer, a man who wanted to live.
McCandless and Margo both just vanish, searching for something. Both have strained relationships with their parents. Both are sick of the fake lives they lead, and so they... leave them. They are so similar, and it's kind of weird. They're also both super controversial. People either love or hate Margo (personally I like her) and the same for McCandless. A looot of people think he was an idiot for tramping out into unknown Alaska by himself.
Now, my relationships are in pretty good shape, and I don't feel like I'm living a fake life. But leaving sounds so good some days. Just abandoning my responsibilities and my possessions and the expectations for me and the thousands of daily distractions. It's just... such an interesting thought. Just leaving. Erasing my existence.
I couldn't do it. Not now. Probably not ever
Maybe someday I'll go. Leave everything. Write a note to my parents, give them an address. Try not to let them worry. Not for very long. A month maybe.
For now, I am here. I will content myself with watching travel vlogs and pinning travel hacks and reading books about people who left. That's all I can do for now. The world calls, but I cannot answer yet.
